Re

“Angie, are you sure this is the place?”

I study the building from outside and it doesn’t look like anyone would allow a party here. It looks like the kind of building I live in, where they’re very strict about noise after a certain hour.

“This is the address,” she insists. “Come on! What’s the worst that can happen? That we have to leave?”

“I suppose you’re right.”

I think my reluctance has more to do with the fact that I didn’t feel like going out tonight than with whether or not this is the right place.

It’s been a tough week and all I wanted was to stay home in my pajamas, eating popcorn and watching a movie. Or maybe I’d go see my father. It’s been almost two weeks since we’ve gotten together and I’m starting to feel the absence.

And it’s not that I’ve been working so hard we couldn’t meet—because for the past year I’ve been taking it easy.

The Odell Textiles deal left me mentally exhausted.

Or rather, Haven did. I haven’t been able to get him out of my head this whole time.

I know I did the right thing by leaving, but I can’t help thinking I gave up too quickly.

I haven’t tried to find him either. I know he’s no longer at the factory because, even though once a contract is signed I normally step away from the businesses since it’s not my field, this time I asked how the renovations were going.

Mostly for Barnaby’s sake. That man deserves to see his wife’s business grow in her memory.

And Haven deserved to be able to leave, which he has.

“Debra?” my friend calls.

“Yes, sorry. I zoned out for a second.”

“I was saying you should go ring the doorbell,” she says, phone in hand, covering the speaker against her chest. “I need to take this call.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

“No, go ahead and ask. If it’s not here, then we won’t waste any more time.”

She’s supposed to be the one invited, but I do as she says because she has a point. If we’ve got the wrong place, better to find out now. I almost hope we have, so I can go home with the excuse that the address was wrong.

When I reach the door, I see it’s only ajar and I push it open. I’m worried that there’s only a faint light at the far end, but curiosity gets the better of me and I step inside.

“Hello?” I call out hesitantly. “Is the party here?”

No one answers, but I don’t ask again because I’m met with a scene that leaves me speechless.

The floor is covered in blue rose petals—my favorites—and there’s a bouquet of them on a table set for a dinner for two.

The city lights, along with strategically placed floor lamps, illuminate the entire room while creating a romantic effect.

Background music plays softly. A love song that’s been my anthem for the past year.

The smell of something delicious reaches me and, if my nose isn’t deceiving me, it’s my favorite food.

I think I’ve accidentally barged into someone’s home—someone planning a surprise for their partner.

And although it seems impossible, for a moment I think that person could be me, because everything I love is here. Can two people really be that similar?

When I turn to retrace my steps before I’m caught trespassing, I find myself looking into a pair of eyes I know all too well.

I also see a smile that has bewitched me on more than one occasion, though this time it seems uncertain—but no less dazzling for it.

I don’t want to blink in case the image disappears.

“Hello, Debra,” he says carefully.

I can tell how nervous he is, and the letter I left him flashes through my mind. If, despite what I wrote, he’s here and has prepared all of this for me, I don’t know how I’m going to deny him the chance he asked for a year ago.

“Haven…”

I run to him and throw my arms around him, afraid he might be an illusion but willing to give him that chance. I’ll give him my kisses, my caresses, my attention, my time, and even my heart if he asks for it.

“Debra,” he moans against my mouth.

And then he kisses me as if he needs my lips to keep on living.

I feel his yearning for me in the way he holds me—the same yearning I have for him.

I cling to his shoulders and let him pull me along without caring where we’re going.

The only thing I want right now is to hold him until there’s no doubt it’s really him.

Because I’ve dreamed of this so many times, it terrifies me to think I might wake up.

“Debra,” he repeats when we reach our destination. He’s brought me to a bedroom. His, I assume.

This is where he’s been living for the past year. So close, and yet so far from each other. It’s been hard, even knowing I did the right thing.

“If you’re asking for permission, the answer is yes,” I say when I see him hesitate for a moment. “Yes to anything you want, Haven.”

“What about the letter?”

“Forget it. I only wrote what you needed to hear so you’d find your own path.” I kiss him.

I don’t want to talk about that now and he seems to understand because he begins undressing me, leaving caresses on every stretch of skin he uncovers with his lips and fingertips.

I close my eyes and surrender to the sensations.

I’ve missed him so much! I tried to forget him in other arms, but no one could replace him. After two failures, I stopped trying.

“Even better than I remembered,” he whispers as he lays me on the bed and positions himself over me. “How have we managed to live without each other this past year, morena?”

“We haven’t,” I state with conviction.

His mouth claims mine once more and my hands travel down his back before tangling in his hair to pull him closer.

I need him inside me. I need to feel him filling me.

I need him to touch me the way only he knows how, until I scream his name when the orgasm hits with full force.

And I don’t have to tell him because he understands.

He lifts my legs onto his shoulders and grips my waist after putting on protection. But he doesn’t enter me yet. First he plays with his tip at my entrance, teasing me, tempting me. I know what he wants: for me to beg. And I don’t disappoint.

“Please, Haven. Put me out of this misery.”

Then he enters me in a single thrust and tears a scream of pleasure from me that I can’t and won’t contain.

Everything I feel is so intense I have to grip the sheets because I think I might fly away at any moment.

Haven drives into me again and again at a frantic pace that gives me no quarter.

In this position he reaches deeper and I feel him filling me completely, forcing me to adjust to his size.

“Come on, morena,” he says, breathless. “Give me everything. Come for me. I want to hear you scream.”

And I give myself to him, body and soul. I hold nothing back. My desire, my passion, my heat—all of it is his. I scream his name and mine falls from his lips when he follows me in an orgasm so intense it leaves us spent and drenched in sweat.

He collapses on top of me, not wanting to pull out yet, wraps his arms around me, and kisses my neck just below my ear. My skin reacts and I let out a sigh of pleasure that makes him smile.

“I’d planned to seduce you with dinner,” he says as he slides out and heads to the bathroom to dispose of the condom.

“I was going to give you a thousand reasons why you should give me now the chance you denied us a year ago.” He returns to me, walking with that feline stride, and I can’t help purring with delight.

“I was prepared to do anything so you wouldn’t pull away from me again. ”

“I don’t want to pull away, Haven,” I interrupt, caressing his face as he lies down beside me. “I had to, so you wouldn’t go from one prison to another, but I never wanted to leave you. If there had been another way…”

“I know.” His fingers trace the outline of my breast. “And now I understand. I hated you after reading the letter, but you couldn’t stay, and it took me a long time to see that.”

“Then why do I see so much pain in your eyes, Haven? Aren’t you happy?”

“I wasn’t sure the letter was a lie.”

“It was.” I sit up so I can look him in the eye.

“Every word was written deliberately so you’d forget about me.

So you wouldn’t come looking for me if you left town.

You needed to be able to decide without outside pressure.

I know it may not have been the best way, but I felt too selfish in that moment to not care that you’d choose me even though I knew it wasn’t right.

I didn’t do it only for you, but for myself too.

To remind myself that I had to let you go.

Oh, God!” I drop back onto the mattress.

“All I wanted in that moment was to lock myself in your arms and forget the world. But we both needed to follow our paths and, at that point, they diverged.”

“And now they’ve converged again.” He holds me. “They won’t separate again, Debra. Whatever happens, I can’t lose you again. We’ll find our balance.”

“We will.” I hop on top of him, straddling him. “Together, we’ll make it work.”

I lean down to his mouth and kiss him. My hand strokes him along his full length and I feel him grow little by little. I’d missed his recovery time too. He’s as insatiable as I am. Though that only happens with him.

“I have more condoms in the nightstand,” he tells me.

He traces the line of my ribs while I find one. Then he grips my hair when he anticipates what I’m about to do. My mouth engulfs him until I can take no more and I help with my hands, working him until he’s so taut I know he’ll release if I suck him again.

“Debra.” It’s his turn to beg, and I lick my lips before covering him with the latex. I position myself over him again and drop down in one go. “Fuck.”

His hands go to my hips and he helps me ride him faster and faster. I wanted to make it last, but it’s over in a few thrusts. I keep moving, chasing my own orgasm, and Haven helps by playing with my clit mercilessly. I scream his name once more and collapse onto him as I reach the peak. I’m spent.

“I love you, Debra,” he whispers, holding me tightly so I can’t move.

I think he needs to do it this way to find the courage for his confession.

“I think I have since the first moment I saw you at the bar, but I didn’t know how to name it until I lost you.

This year, I’ve thought about you by day and dreamed about you every night.

I’ve missed you every hour. You have no idea how much I needed you, but I believed you didn’t want anything to do with me and I tried to respect that because I love you.

I couldn’t deny you anything, morena, even if it killed me.

I love you and I don’t need you to say it back.

I don’t want you to if it’s out of obligation.

The day you say those two words to me, it will be with sincerity or not at all. I have enough love for the both of us.”

When he finishes, he drops a kiss on my cheek without looking at me and shifts me so he can stand and go to the bathroom again.

I lie still, processing what he’s said. And it’s not that I’m scared or want to run.

I’m not going to have a meltdown or cry either.

I just need to absorb everything he’s said before taking the next step.

After all, I always gather the information, analyze it, and make my decision. In that order.

“How about we eat something?” he says while he starts getting dressed. “Though I’m afraid it’ll be cold by now.”

I stand and stop him. He’s got his pants on now and I’m still naked. And that feels exactly right because this is the moment for me to take a risk too—to bare my soul before him.

“I love you too, Haven. And I’m not saying it out of obligation.

” I hold his face between my hands. “Letting you go was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life, but it was the greatest act of love I’ve ever made.

I love you, and I gave you the freedom to choose to come back to me if that’s what you wanted. ” I smile. “And you have.”

“I have.” He mirrors my smile.

I savor his lips slowly, as if we had all the time in the world, before pulling away to get dressed. But Haven draws me back and deepens the kiss until we’re both out of breath.

“I’ll never get tired of this,” he declares with total conviction. “Of you.”

“I hope not.” I wink at him and flash a smile.

“I’m pretty sure Joe kept us from running into each other by chance on more than one occasion,” I say after he’s told me we share a mutual friend, Angie, who helped him choose everything I like.

“I think he just wanted to protect me from myself. Joe knew that if we’d seen each other sooner, I would have made the wrong choice again. I suppose he wanted me to get my life on track before seeing you.”

“And I’m grateful to him for that. I would have felt terrible if you’d put me first, Haven.”

“I know. And now I understand, but at the time it hurt.”

“If it’s any consolation, I wasn’t immune to what I did.”

“I suppose not.”

“When I left town, I took several months off,” I explain so he understands just how badly I was doing. “I told my father I needed time and spent it traveling the world. I think I went looking for something I could only find by your side.”

“I didn’t know. I… I went to your office once. I’m not really sure what I was hoping to accomplish, but in the end I didn’t dare go in.”

“You wouldn’t have found me there. The first three months I was traveling.

When I came back, I worked from home for another month.

I’d meet my father at his place and only went out to visit the businesses I needed to fold into our company.

It was hard.” He moves his chair until he’s sitting beside me and holds both my hands in his.

I squeeze them and smile. “Eventually I decided I couldn’t keep acting like a depressed teenager and I went back to running my life the way I had before I met you.

Or as close to it as I could get, because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. ”

“Neither could I. I love you, morena.”

“And I love you, Haven.” I kiss him.

And we wake up in bed together, satisfied and entwined.