Rei

The sound of the front door opening and closing woke Rei out of the light doze he’d been waiting in.

He slid from bed and padded naked through the hall to the living room.

Sevastyan was just rounding the corner from the entry area, pulling off the jacket he’d been wearing beneath his coat when he left.

Rei slid to his knees, palms on his thighs.

Sevastyan smiled at him and finished pulling off his extra layers, dropping them over the arm of the couch. “Still awake?”

“Dozing, master.” Rei kept his eyes on Sevastyan.

His master went down on one knee, slid his hands into Rei’s hair and leaned forward, breathing him in. Rei bent his head towards Sevastyan’s caress. The other man’s lips pressed against his forehead, then lifted his chin and pressed against his lips.

Sevastyan tasted like someone else. A different flavor of toothpaste lingered on his tongue. There were hints of chocolate and alcohol on his skin and his hair smelled of shampoo and conditioner not in the condo.

Rei’s eyes fluttered. There were bite marks on the side of Sevastyan’s neck. His hand started to rise towards the marks. He stopped himself, returning his palm to his thigh.

“At ease,” Sevastyan murmured. “Did you eat?”

“Yes, master.”

“Lisa asleep?”

“Yes, master.”

Sevastyan guided Rei to his feet and pulled him in against his chest. “Drink tea with me.”

Warmth spread through Rei’s chest. Sevastyan ran his hands down Rei’s back and reached for his discarded clothes. He grabbed his discarded sweater and pulled it over Rei’s head. “The kitchen will be cool.” He led Rei towards the kitchen.

Rei eased his hands through the ends of Sevastyan’s sweater’s sleeves. They were long on him, but smelled like Sevastyan. “How was the evening?”

Sevastyan smiled again, one of his real smiles, his eyes cast down, not really watching his hands as they filled the electric kettle. “It was good. I got to do something good, for once.”

Rei waited. He wanted to ask, but his training was too good to let him.

Sevastyan finished filling the kettle and returned it to its dock, turning it on. He crossed his arms and leaned against the counter. Rei settled near the wall, turned towards him.

Sevastyan’s eyes were on everything in the room except Rei. “There was a man who hurt girls. More than girls, but especially girls. He’s not going to do that anymore.”

Rei gripped his hands in front of his hips and twisted his fingers together.

Something was both good and off with his master.

He understood anger. He knew Sevastyan’s depressive episodes and his grief, his long bouts of frustration and rage, but this was new.

Sevastyan never took pleasure in killing, even when it was justified.

It always made him reserved and hard, then passionate and desperate in bed, like he was trying to pray to the gods through Rei’s body. “You killed him?”

“No.” Sevastyan looked straight at Rei for the first time. “He’s with the authorities here. The evidence is clear cut. He won’t get out of prison before he’s a decrepit old man, if even then.”

Rei frowned. “You . . . you did that? You planned this? I didn’t have a mission . . .”

“It was a favor. To a friend.” Sevastyan dropped his eyes again. “Their mission.”

“Friend?” Rei hated the waver in his voice.

Sevastyan didn’t have friends. He had people he hated a little bit less than everyone else.

He had allies. He had . . . whatever Alexi was.

He had contacts. Under his legal cover, he had “friends” in quotation marks, but Sevastyan didn’t consider any of the many people in his digital Rolodex friends.

That word was reserved for those who might come close to the heart, and the truth of Sevastyan’s existence.

You couldn’t be friends with someone who didn’t know what you were.

Only Rei knew Sevastyan.

“Friend.” Sevastyan looked away. “From a long time ago.”

The kettle bubbled away. The silence, for once, was awkward.

Rei dropped to his knees. “It’s not my place to question, master. Please discipline me.”

And it wasn’t. Even if he was shocked, he shouldn’t show it. The wrong person might see and Sevastyan’s position could be at risk. Rei had to be unshakable.

“I shocked you, and you were at ease,” Sevastyan said. He took one of Rei’s hands and slapped it, hard enough to sting, but not hard enough to hurt even two minutes later.

“Thank you, master.”

“No, thank you. If you had not brought it to my attention, I would have missed the infraction. You recovered well.”

Rei blinked back tears. That was recognition and pride in Sevastyan’s voice, and softness. Even tenderness.

“I haven’t been giving you as much of my energy as I should have,” Sevastyan murmured. He stroked Rei’s cheek. “Up. The floor is hard and cold, and we’re not training right now. Just tea. It’s been a while since we were alone together.”

“The Art Institute,” Rei murmured. He rose to his feet, mindful of keeping his movements graceful.

“I miss our alone time.”

“Lisa could sleep on the couch.”

“He could. But no.” Sevastyan shook his head.

The water bubbled up. The pot clicked off.

Sevastyan set about pouring heated libations over bags of tea inside mugs.

It smelled of lavender and chamomile. “I worry about what he could do if he were left alone at night. With you, he sleeps, if only to appease you.”

Rei’s cheeks flushed. “It’s not . . . like that.”

“Lisa is living for you. It’s not disloyalty. Even if you did want him as more than a friend . . .” Sevastyan’s voice trailed off. He looked away.

Wanting Lisa as more than a friend was a fool’s errand. Slaves who fell in love with each other came to tragic ends.

Sevastyan’s eyes softened as he found the words he wanted. “I would worry for you, but I would not forbid you.”

Rei hugged himself and shook his head. “I love him as a friend. I like his touch. If you . . . you wanted us together, I wouldn’t mind. But it’s not . . . it’s not that. I don’t know if it could be.”

“I would understand. Lisa is a beautiful man. Inside and out. He deserves to be loved, in all the ways.”

“But you don’t own him.”

“But I don’t own him.” Sevastyan nodded. “And I don’t know how to free him.”

Rei looked reflexively towards the hallway.

“No one heard me,” Sevastyan whispered. “The bedroom door squeaks, and it’s closed.

Rei’s shoulders lowered a little. “If you miss our time alone, then you could tell him to stay in the bedroom during the day.”

Sevastyan nodded. Then smiled. He was doing that a lot tonight. “Or we could go out, together.”

Like you went out with this friend?

Rei dropped his eyes. “May I ask to where, master?”

Please don’t say a museum. I already feel like a ghost in everyone else’s lives.

“There’s an indoor farmers’ market a short way from here.” Sevastyan pushed one of the two cups of tea towards Rei. “Crafts, cheese . . .”

Rei wrinkled his nose up at the cheese. Some cheeses were okay, but only some. Sevastyan was usually careful to only bring back ones Rei liked.

Sevastyan chuckled. “Flowers. Jewelry. Leatherwork.”

“Flowers in winter?”

“Hot house flowers.”

Flowers were alive. A little warmth blossomed inside Rei’s chest that had nothing to do with the warm tea. He cupped his hands around the ceramic and breathed in the lavender and chamomile. “Please.”

He needed to keep his head together. He couldn’t be feeling this changeable, this fragile.

Sevastyan needed him to be steady. Whether or not they ever brought down the Merchari.

Whether or not it took their lives. They only had to persist until the moment they were finished.

Until they ran out of life or succeeded.

Sevastyan touched the marks on his neck, sipping at his tea with his other hand. “I can’t talk about this, not yet.”

“It’s not my place,” Rei whispered, eyes down.

“It is,” Sevastyan whispered.

“And it’s not.” Rei lifted his chin. “I trust you.”

Sevastyan dropped his eyes. “Nothing has changed between us, beautiful. Nothing.”

Rei’s chest ached. Something had, though.

There was a piece of joy in Sevastyan’s life that he couldn’t touch.

And it was making Rei’s world colder, not by lack of warmth, but by comparison.

He would always wish all the joy on his master that he could.

He just had to remind himself that Sevastyan’s joy was his, and let the warmth seep into him instead of being afraid it would all be taken from him.

He put his tea down on the counter and stepped closer, just centimeters away from touching his master. Sevastyan opened his arms, welcoming him in. Rei leaned in against him, putting his hand on Sevastyan’s chest.

Sevastyan held him. Feeling this reassurance required no effort to access. Sevastyan’s body against his didn’t lie. He was wanted. Rei tangled his fist in the waist of Sevastyan’s pants and clung.